Category: Wedding on a Budget

TOP 10 THINGS TO THINK ABOUT WHEN PLANNING YOUR WEDDING – A Checklist for success

As a wedding DJ, I have seen many things go wrong. These were little tiny problems to start and could have been eliminated easily, just with a little planning ahead of time. Here is a top ten list of ten important things to think about in order to plan a fun and successful wedding for all.

1. Think of EVERYBODY
I cannot say this enough. Even though it is your special day, you have to think about your guests and be a humble host, as anyone who throws a party should. After all, a good host puts others needs first. Do guests know what to expect? Are you planning your wedding for on a holiday that friends and family may have other obligations to? Are you a vegan and forcing your guests to eat food they are not comfortable eating to make a statement? Do you love hardcore music and do not care what the others think? Try your best to make everyone happy.

2. Be Yourself
If the couple is not all about classic music and being overly elegant, planning much of the reception as such may not be the right thing to do. You may want to go for more up beat fun stuff right from the get-go, during the cocktail hour. Also, some couples are now making the grand entrance into the cocktail hour to enjoy the festivities and then heading out for some pictures before they eat.

3. Waste Money
The wedding industry is a money making industry, with lots of avenues to indulge in. There is a lot of good advice out there, but remember, people will also profit from it. Shop around and do your homework! Budget means budget. If you have a number, stick to it!

4. Know who is running the show!
There are two people running the show. One is the officiate, the minister or justice of peace. His/her personality will come out in the ceremony. The other is your DJ/band leader, who plays a very important organizational role in whether the guests will say your reception was fun, or not.

5. Seat Guests Effectively 
Your wedding is no place to try and mend broken bridges between guest. Forcing enemies to come together by seating them together is probably not going to work and not a risk you should try taking. Also, try and keep older people away from the DJ or band, as they often do not like louder volume levels. For more ideas on seating, see my other blog.

6. Lose Perspective
Don’t get caught up in so many small details and traditions that you don’t spend enough time on what’s important. Keep the big picture in mind. If something doesn’t go exactly as planned, this is okay. Nothing ever does! Just remember, it is a celebration. Make it work.

7. Heavy Party the night before
It’s not always a good idea to plan crazy bachelor/bachelorette parties for the night before the wedding, if people with important roles tend to get carried away. The last thing you need is to wake up with a headache, or upset stomach. Too much drinking the night before is not always a good idea.

8. Bride & Groom planning
Wedding planning can and should fall on the bride and the groom together. If one becomes too overbearing or selfish, it can make for an awful night for the other. Ask yourself, did I listen?

9. Be prepared for ANYTHING 
Having a backup plan for everything is KEY!  Most people don’t want to believe that something could go wrong at their wedding, so they do not plan for it. If it is an outdoor wedding, make sure that you have an alternate location in case of rain. Keep phone contacts on hand for vendors and people with important roles.

10. Don’t be afraid to be different
Traditional weddings are all the same. Don’t let your wedding reception fall into the regular pattern. If you do, your wedding will blur into the rest. Never be afraid to be different! A good idea is a good idea, even if it bucks tradition.

FINALLY…

This list used to be eight points long, but I just recently added TWO MORE… the last two.  I cannot stress enough the importance of the last two on this list. You really need to plan for disaster at your wedding, so that you can better handle something in case the worst happens. Also, always be yourself and in the end, your wedding will be a success.

I was the disc jockey for some good people out of Schenectady, NY this past weekend, hosted at a nice little restaurant called The Cella Bistro. The bride and groom’s favorite thing about past wedding receptions that they had attended was always the appetizers. They liked mushrooms, and wonton shrimp and crab cakes and friend veggies and jumbo shrimp, you know, all the yummy stuff.

So what did they do? They made EVERYTHING APPETIZERS!

That is right. There was no real sit down, but there was soooo much good finger food and horderves around that you never even missed it.

In the end, they said it worked out to be FARRRRR cheaper than if you were to go with a sit down or buffet.

The bride and groom should always think about their guests by providing a different enough selection so everyone can enjoy the wedding feast – be it vegetarian, hardcore carnivore, lactose intolerant, shellfish or peanut allergies, diabetic, etc.  No matter what you are offering, a vast selection of both traditional wedding favorites,  and more strange “out there” exotic gourmet goodies gives everyone the opportunity to enjoy their favorites, as well as try out some new dishes for them.

A great time was had by all!

WHO SHOULD YOU TIP AT A WEDDING, AND HOW MUCH?

Quite often I get the uncomfortable question from curious brides and grooms about tipping. I always say the same thing. “It is optional at weddings. A tip for any service is appreciated, but usually not at all expected. Just tip if you were really really happy with your outcome.”

I did a little looking around on the net to see what other people say about wedding gratuity. Before sharing my findings below, I have read that for the most part, I am right. Tips are a voluntary thing, and you should really use your discretion.

So, how do you make the decision?

DO YOUR HOMEWORK – First off, if you are thinking about tipping, you may want to find out from your vendors if,  tipping is allowed at all. There are many services, caterers for one, that include the gratuity for their staff directly in their quoted price, so they sometimes actually discourage tipping. In this economy, be sure not to double tip!

Giving wedding professionals and vendors a tip is completely up to the couple, how happy they are and how much they can afford. There is no percentage, if any, as you see expected by restaurants.

All tips should be given in cash. If the person serving you is an employee of the company, their tip should be in a separate envelope, so that the business doesn’t try to absorb it.

Tips should be given just before the party ends. That way you can judge how much to give, according to the job they did for you.

DOLLAR GUIDELINE ACCORDING TO SERVICES PROVIDED:

Limousine Drivers – 10-15% of the limousine bill, given at the end of his/her service.

Valet Parking Attendants – 50 cents to $1.00 per car, is about right.

Disc Jockey – When your guests compliment the reception later, remember it was the DJ that had created a big part of the fun stuff. While it is not expected, if there is one DJ, $50-100.00, isn’t totally unheard of. If you have two DJs, some people give each person $50.00 in separate envelopes. It’s really up to you, as, again, there is no need to tip at all.

Photographer / Videographers – The tip is optional. Usually if they own the photography business, no tip is necessary. If they are employees, $50.00 goes to the main photographer and who splits in with any assistant.

The Wait Staff – Usually the tip is worked into the quote. If the tip is not in the contract, a 15% of the total catering bill is tipped.

Bartenders – 10% of the total liquor bill is normal, if you are not allowing your guests to tip.

Ceremony Musicians – $5-10/hr per person.

Wedding Officiate – Usually you do not tip. You pay the set amount, and offer a donation to the church, if you wish to offer more for their help.

Hopefully, you have a rough idea of what to give now, if you feel the urge to tip.

Again, the amounts above are only examples and are not written in stone. They are, however, what I have found people have suggested to give when you are impressed and overly satisfied with your service provider.

IDEAS FOR KEEPING THE FOOD AFFORDABLE

Today, times are tough. We are seeing traditions broken daily and hard decisions have to be made. Maybe you really want to get married but know that your venue bill will be 15 to 20 times the size of what the DJ bill will be, and you know you can’t afford it. That’s right. Your average wedding venue bill with food is $10,000-$30,000 today! Weel, what can you do?

POTLUCK! BRING YOUR OWN FOOD?!

Before you dismiss this as an unacceptable option, let’s look at history. One hundred years ago, there was no prime rib. There were no candy tables. There was no open bar tab. Almost every wedding reception was catered by the guests!

Part of the wedding gift was your loved ones sweating over a hot oven. Then, they would show up with their labors of love bearing a covered dish for all to partake, in the name of the bride and groom.

Another trend of guests bringing their own food to a wedding reception to be shared by all happened a little more than only fifty years ago. In the ‘60s, dematerialization and sharing also was a big part of that generation’s mindset.  This bled over into the matrimonial ceremonial trends. At this time, Potluck weddings were about sharing all kinds of things.

Believe it or not, the idea of guests bringing the food to the reception was not low-brow at many points in history. It actually used to be the norm. However, in the “instant gratification” materialist world that we live in, and now with the economic state that our country is in, this trend is making a comeback at weddings.

Here are a number of tips to keep in mind, in order to make the idea of covered dishes work at your reception:

PLANNING A POTLUCK WEDDING – While this is a great idea, there may be some materialistic money-grubbers who will oppose your quest for crockpots. Many wedding halls will not allow you or guests to bring in food or alcoholic beverages. In most cases, this directly affects their bottom line, as providing high end dishes is an integral part of their income and overall profit. In order to have a potlock reception, you will first have to locate an appropriate hall to your liking that allows self-catering, and one that still fits the atmospheric-setting role that you are looking for.

PROMOTING YOUR VISION – Whenever you can, consider a theme! For our house warming, we held what we called a “cultural covered dish party.” You couldn’t just show up with hot dogs and chips. We challenged our guests to recreate and share their favorite ethnic dishes from all around the world.

For our cultural covered dish party, we communicated with out friends and family to see what area their cuisine would come from. Once we heard one country or area was being represented, we might mention that to another person. Then, each guest would bring some really cool things to the table.

One friend could represent Mexico, another could represent Italy, and so on and so forth, so that many different and fun dishes were represented. We then put little flags in front of the dishes, upon receiving them. It felt like Disney’s “It’s a Small World” ride, but much tastier!

CHEF TO IMPRESS & RESTRICTIONS – Tell your people to all bring entrees, not side dishes. Push the idea of “CHEF TO IMPRESS!” You always have the handful of loser relatives who want to only bring soda and chips. Make it clear that side dishes will make for a poor spread. Side dishes are very lame and that each guest needs to try and provide at least one entree, with any amount of supporting sides that they wish! If you get entrees across the board, there will be some really great food and fun for all!

TAKE INVENTORY & COMMUNICATE – It is crucial that you make an ongoing list of what guests would like to bring so that you don’t get a dozen meatball dishes, for example, and nobody shows up with some succulent shrimp or chicken! (Gotta have chicken!) Consider using facebook to make communication easy.

TIMING & STORAGE – Let the people plan early. Put your food information/request right on the invitation. When the wedding day finally comes, the best way to organize is to put someone in charge of receiving the food, before the ceremony actually starts.

CROCK POTS – Rule. Enough said.

PREP TEAM & CLEAN UP TEAM – Since there are no caterers waiting on your guests, this does mean that there will be more work that will need to be done on your behalf. It is best to ask for volunteers to man food prep & clean up.  With two separate teams, the brunt of work doesn’t fall heavy on one or two people’s shoulders. You will need one group to organize and set up the food, and also another to break down, preserve and get the containers ready to go back to the original owners.

MUSIC – Everybody knows that music makes it better. Food is best consumed with music, so get a DJ! (I know a good one!)  Your savings on food allows for even more fun to happen!

DISH PRESENTATION – We don’t want this to look like your average party. Since you are potentially saving thousands on the food bill, you may want to make everything look as classy as possible.

To avoid the stigma that a hodge-podge potluck wedding reception could receive, try and create some kind of uniformity in presentation.  Another trick is to elevate entree dishes on your buffet tables with some kind of milk crates or soda riser-trays, then cover the boosters with linen.

If you really want to change people’s minds about being thrifty, stay away from dollar store table cloths to avoid cheap presentation of good food! To remain classy but still save money, if your hall does not provide linens, you can always purchase sale fabric at a discount fabric stores.

POTLUCK DESSERTS – Maybe you still want the dinner catered, but love this idea. How about potluck desserts only?!

ADDITIONAL GIFTS ARE OPTIONAL – Remember, since guests are providing the food, it is customary to accept the fact that the dish could be considered the only gift to you, or at least a portion of the gift. Encourage this and embrace it! You are saving thousands of dollars!

Food is love and when prepared by your friends and family, love as well as scrumptious scents will be in the air. The possibilities are endless. People will go out of their ways to really show off their skills, and at the same time, impress you.

Having a successful covered dish wedding reception is all about cooperation and fun with people who are important to you. Your friends and family will love the idea and probably go out of their ways to really make it a spread that will impress everyone.

If done correctly, your wedding reception could turn out to be much better than any catering company could ever deliver.