Looking for alternative to paying that monsterous monthly cable bill? Does it seem like the fight of paying additional fees never ends? Well, maybe you could unsubscribe to some of those expensive add-on movie channels and pick up a streaming media box. A web-based television experience is the way of the future.
As some of my friends know, I became a big fan of TheCoolTV. This indy channel was a syndicated music video channel that decided to “take over where MTV left off.” They played a weird mix of everything music video, and took pride in an ONLY music video format. That means no reality tv and virtually no content without the spotlight on music. When my local TimeWarner stopped carrying this “.1” channel, I thought it was gone forever. But I was wrong. I soon learned that I could see the coolness once again perhaps through streaming media boxes like Roku and Apple TV.
OTT (Over The Top) or Set-Top boxes like Roku and AppleTV are devices that receive the “media broadcast” or content over the Internet by streaming. All you do is plug a little wallet-shaped box into your HD television and your wireless router does the rest. They range from $60-$120 or so and offer loads of content without a monthly fee.
These little streaming media boxes warriors have subscription-based services like Netflix, HuluPlus, and Amazon along with other web-based media “channels” that provide audio and video content from the internet. Plugging one of these into your television’s HDMI connection brings to your screen an alternative platform to your cable provider that is similar to “On Demand” channels. Some of these channels you pay for, and some you don’t. Some channels have either live streaming programs, or an archived show library, or a combination of both.
Notable up-and-coming Contenders – are out there, trying to climb the championship ladder. These contenders include Western Digital Media Center, Roku, Boxee, YouView, SonySMP-N200 and Google TV, as well as Smart TV upgraders from companies such as Samsung and LG. While there are a handful of other streaming boxes out there right now, the two champions that really seem to be cornering the market are Apple TV & Roku. Overall for my specific uses, I believe that Roku beats out Apple TV.
IN THIS CORNER… APPLE TV –My wife bought me an Apple TV for Christmas. I immediately found that this tiny $100 box did all kinds of big things. Apple TV mirrored my ipad/iphone stream to the television so I could watch YouTube on TV using “AirPlay.” It also let me AirPlay Facetime from my phone so I could see people on other iPhones as I talked to them on my TV. Apple TV also offered the Apple ecosystem, in that I could seamlessly access my photostream from my iTunes account. And it also offered Netflix and HuluPlus as a subscription-based service on its menu. I could also access all my music files by using iTunes Match for $25 a year.
However, I found that Apple TV didn’t totally do what I specifically wanted it to do. It didn’t offer very much content without some kind of subscriptions involved… In other words, you had to pay for a lot of the content, and quite often, you were paying for stuff that you can find on the internet for free.
When I tried to AirPlay HBO-Go from my phone to my television, I only got the audio. “Did I mess something up?” No. For whatever reason, HBO doesn’t want to allow this to work with Apple’s mirror system… or perhaps, Apple doesn’t want to allow this to happen either. That way, you have to buy more content from iTunes.
In my opinion, this device is a great choice for people who want their iPhones & iPads to talk to their television sets. However, it is not a great choice for people who want to bring loads of content to their flat screens without having to pay extra for it. For the same reason why Apple doesn’t have USB inputs on their mobile devices, they can control what streams to your television and what does not. This is also why, I believe, there are far less non-apple channels available for Apple TV than there are to its biggest competitor Roku. Less channels means you have to buy more stuff from iTunes.
APPLE TV TALE OF THE TAPE KEY APPLE TV CHANNELS NOT ON ROKU: iTunes, AirPlay, YouTube, Mobile Me (photos). WEIGHT: Unlike the Roku, Apple TV is very strong and dense, and feels heavy like a brick in your hand. Unboxing it feels fresh. REMOTE: The factory remote is small and pointy and not comfortable in your hand. It also does not take regular batteries. I hate it. PROS: The onscreen interface is streamline and scrumptious. Just like all other Apple products, it has the easy user interface you’d expect from the creators of the iPod, iPad, and iPhone. AirPlay compatibility lets you stream anything you can hear (and, in some cases, see) on your iPad, iPhone, or iPod Touch. And any audio, video, or photos you have in your iTunes cloud will seamlessly stream to your TV. CONS: Apple TV costs $20 more than Roku and costs more to get the content overall. It offers far fewer content “channels” than Roku. Apple TV only works on HDTVs equipped with an HDMI input and deos not have a USB port to import content from a thumb drive. To get the best from Apple TV, you need to be committed to the entire Apple “ecosystem”: running iTunes, purchasing video via the iTunes Store, and using an iPad, iPhone, or iPod Touch as a remote control.
AND IN THIS CORNER…. ROKU XD or XS – I will admit, I marked out to the Apple TV idea at first, as did a buddy of mine. But then we shot a tweet to our favorite techno-God Michael Manna, (aka former WWE & ECW wrestler Stevie Richards.) Manna said that he heard Roku was perhaps cheaper, and better. So I picked up one to try it out.
I immediately found that Roku at $80 ($20 cheaper than Apple TV) is far more content-rich and still VERY simple to use. The Roku Store has a lot of channels and is getting more, and the directory changes every day. Right now, Roku has in the area of 700 channels or so, with additional sub-channel content. This is far more offerings than that of Apple TV.
Independent private channels like Mummy TV & Nowhere TV can be added to your Roku menu for free. By doing this, you open up hundreds of web-based network & cable streams from around the world. On top of being able to subscribe to Netflix and HuluPlus and also HBO-Go (not available on Apple TV), you also have access to free movie channels like Crackle, PopcornFlix and MovieBlast, and even crazy specific “On Demand Platforms” like The Kung Fu Channel and The UFO’s & Alien Abduction PodCast Archive Library. It has great B movies, horror films, and yes, it even has porno. And that’s not all…
For geeks like me, you can get JustinTV, Comicbook Vine, NWA Wrestling Channel & ProWrestling Channel, and a even a live stream of exactly what Shamu The Whale is up to at any given moment in his tank at Sea World on the Shamu Cam. The only real channel missing from Roku but present on Apple TV oddly enough is Youtube. While you cannot YouTube search on the television screen, there is a work around available via mobile device mirroring that will enable you to still view everything from that community.
Roku Mirroring is not as good as Apple TV AirPlay, but two mirroring apps are available. A new app called “Plex” allows you to stream media files from your phone to your TV. You can also “beam’ Youtube content from any mobile device through a channel called “Twonky Beam.”
ROKU TALE OF THE TAPE KEY ROKU CHANNELS NOT ON APPLE TV: Amazon, Hulu Plus, Crackle, MLS MatchDay Live, UFC, Al Jazeera English, FoxNews.com, Pandora, Rdio, Tune In Radio, Shoutcast, MOG, Break.com, Blip.tv, MediaFly, Facebook photos, Angry Birds, MummyTV, Nowehere TV and dozens of others. WEIGHT: Unlike the Apple TV box, the Roku feels like a happy meal toy in your hand. The ironic thing is that while Apple TV feels more dense to the touch, it has less free content inside it. REMOTE: Is easy to use and feels good in your hand. It takes traditional AAA batteries, and not the lame CR2032 or BR2032 coin looking batteries that the Apple TV remote requires. The XS model also has motion control which allows you to play Wii like games. PROS: Roku offers far more diverse programming options than you’ll find on Apple TV and far more free content. And, unlike Apple TV, Roku will work with non-HD TVs. CONS: Roku’s interface is not as polished and as sexy as Apple TV. And, although there are a variety of mirror apps for Android and iOS, Roku is not as good as Apple for Mobile Mirroring or easy way to stream audio or video files from your networked PC or Mac to the Roku.
Overall Decision – Ring the bell. The judges have declared the winner… ROKU!
The average television viewer is a person who watches TV so they can see either television shows, the news, or movies. Roku seems to provide the best selection of these three things, plus adding THROAT LOADS of unfiltered internet content with every interest in mind. Roku has far more “channels” than the Apple TV, and far more free content options. And with the speed of updates and channel additions, it also seems that some pretty dedicated people both within and outside the Roku company are in it for the long haul for developing even more.
REVERSED DECISION? So why even buy a Apple TV? For only the avid Apple product user, I would reverse the decision and declare Apple TV the winner, but only for those Applemaniacs looking for an Apple Ecosystem-based television-viewing experience. Apple TV is a great platform for mobile device interaction. It has the ability to stream content from iTunes up to your television with ease. Apple TV really “speaks the language” of iPads, iPods, and iPhones and creates a seamless roadway from them to your television set.
If you plan on using your OTT Streaming Media Box as an alternative additional to cable (as I do), I would totally recommend the Roku. But if it is apple juice you seek, you know the way.
Once again, they ran out of prime rib just before they got to me. With no prime rib left to serve the only rockstar room, I cried my prime rib tears on a plate of replacement chicken. Why does this always happen to me? After all, I am DJ Kenny freakin’ Casanova, right? I am the one playing the tunes! Do you want me to play all Barry Manilow?
This time, despite being an officially invited guest and friend of the bride with my RSVP of beef, I still got the chicken. The waitress even stopped by my table first and asked, “what would you like; prime rib or chicken?” However, I knew her deal. I had her number. No matter what I was going to say to answer this routine question, she knew exactly what she was going to serve before she even asked the question. I was going to get the bird regardless, and knowing that made me want to give her the bird, in return.
I get no respect, and I get no prime rib.
Is this a conspiracy theory against Kenny Casanova, Prime Rib lover and enthusiast extraordinaire?
First off, I am a man. Prime Rib is my absolute favorite!!! You don’t even have to ask the question, chicken or beef. However, I think they do to somehow almost rub it in my face or something.
Granted, I know I am supposed to be working. I know I am supposed to be doing my job and technically not enjoying the same inch and a half thick mound of meat that everyone else around me is devouring. However, why do they ask me if I want the beef or chicken, and always say that they ran out, if it isn’t a power play by the man trying to hold the funk soul brother DJ down?
Just like Rodney, I get no respect.
As a wedding DJ, you would think I would get the scrumptious pink piece of meat dish every weekend, but yet somehow, I rather always get the shaft…
MY THEORY – This “chicken switch” practice is not at all unusual. Many halls ironically always run out of the prime rib, just before they get to me. Is this a coincidence? Many halls rarely give the DJ and other wedding professionals their best dishes, as a means of cutting costs and offering a discount to the bride and groom on their food bill. However, for the purpose of my blog and for the purpose of word of mouth recommendation from a wedding professional who can be influential to clients who may be looking for a recommendation, this sucks.
DON’T MAKE ME CHICKEN REVIEW YOU INSTEAD OF BEEF- I can’t speak on a hall’s very best dish and give a client an idea of whether you should book a hall or not out of delisciousness, when I am not reviewing their very best dish, EVER.
Don’t you want to put your best foot forwards, or are you afraid you can’t make a piece of beef that can get a good review?
HOW CAN I REVIEW YOUR BEST FOR MY BLOG? – Be forewarned! When a different dish than I have requested is forced on me, I don’t always eat it. Therefore, I may have to default on a drunk bridesmaid to step in, for the purpose of reviewing the hall for my blog. Maybe this bridesmaid will be one who doesn’t care much for the hall’s chicken dish served with mandarin garnish. One who will offer quotes for my blog with her opinion openly saying the chicken was, “plain, a little on the tough side, and really cold.” One who makes a Chef Ramsay food review look good…
Mind you, the drunk bridesmaid may have had so much to drink that all she could taste by dinner was probably rum. In this case, the hall can risk that my audience can either take her review or leave it, and tell everyone to just consider the source.
BOTTOM LINE: Don’t ask me what I want to eat, then say you ran out and give me something else. That $#i!! just teases me. Also, realize that I yeild the power of the pen in these blogs. If you cheap out and chicken me after offering the prime rib, know that I won’t jump to eat it right away. Then, by the time I actually get to the chicken and it actually is cold, know that this will hurt your grade even more and I will likely just bring it home for my dog.
Incidently, my dog will nine times out of ten say, “I love this piece of chicken,” when I give him the replacement cheap dish. You may think, well at least we will get a good review from the DJ’s dog, however, consider the source yourself. This is the same dog who also licks his butt on a regular basis.
(The opinions above are the exclusive opinions of DJ Kenny Casanova immediately after being handed chicken, expecting a huge piece of steak. While some of what is being expressed above is completely true yet in saterical form, the words are not the official opinions of TheDJservice.com.)
As many of you know, before becoming a DJ, I was a ring announcer with experience at WWE wrestling. This past weekend, I had the “pleasure” of having dinner with The WWE Champions The Nasty Boys in Cohoes, New York on Sunday, January 8th, 2012, at The Black Cat Tavern. Let it be known, The Black Cat was not so nasty!
After a fun autograph signing and successful training seminar at the “In Your Face” Wrestling Gym of Cohoes, we gathered up the former WWE Tag Team Champions, Brian Knobbs & Jerry Saggs, for some wings and Polish food at the famous sports bar.
The Nasty Boys enjoyed the homemade perogies smothered in onions and downed a massive nasty-size order in record time. Then we enjoyed the Giants game before they headed out for the airport.
The food at The Black Cat was great. At $3.99 for about a dozen wings, $5 for steamers, and great deals on pub fair and Polish food, The Nasty Boys found themselves right at home. While it is a small bar, it does have a bigger eating area in the back that I am sure would work well for an engagement party, or wedding rehearsal party.
Many of The Black Cat bar’s older patrons recognized The nasty Boys for their former WWE Tag Team championship reign back in 1991. Some of the younger people recognized Brian Knobbs for his many more recent appearances on VH1’s reality series “Hulk Knows Best” & spinoff “Brooke Knows Best.”
Aside from my business partner, Marty “The Party,” having to provide the ravished 320 plus pound Nasty Boys with Hot Sauce on demand, a good time was had by all.
In Your Face Wrestling will also be having one of their own shows featuring WWE Legend Tony Atlas this Saturday in Ballston Spa, NY. See http://www.iyfwrestling.com/ for more information.
(518) 506-3305 – For an Affordable Wedding DJ in Albany NY… Party Planning Tips & Advice Blog.
Each and every time that I meet up with a bride and her groom for what they might want to hear at their wedding, Steve Jobs plays a big part. THe bride plays me a song on her iPod, I pull up the contract on my iPad and her husband-to-be breaks out some photo ideas on his Mac.
Then when the wedding happens, the majority of the music we hear is the direct product of iTunes.
Steve Jobs was the Michelangelo Buonarroti of our lifetime and we can only hope he left notes behind to continue his impactful ways on technology in the years to come.
In the last year, I have become an iPad 2 user. It really is great and I can’t live without it. I use it for calander planning, syncing information with my phone, bringing up song samples, providing photograph samples for customers and also enjoy capabilities and to surf the net. I even watched Toy Story 3 on it the other day, and enjoy a great Scrabble Game called “Words WIth Friends” from time to time. All of this in an easy compact tool that Steve Jobs dedicated his life to, in this great finale release.
Steve Jobs will always be remembered for making modern computing simple, seamless with other mediums and a very satisfying experience. The co-founder of Apple created the old school Apple I & II computers in the 70s. Later, he gave us the Macintosh and the iMac. Then people wanted better music capabilites on the computer so he added music to loop with the creation of iTunes and then the iPod. Then peopl wanted to make connections, so he added phone call capabilities with the iPhone, and then bundled it all together in the end with the Star Trek-like iPad.
Who knows where exactly things will be for apple in the future? I can only imagine Jobs has left his company behind a truck load of ideas for the years to come, and I can only hope that they will see the ideas through.
I just jumped on the apple band wagon the last couple of years, but know that people have been here a long time. Either way, many in the country agree that Steve Jobs will, in fact, be very missed.
Wow! What a crazy weekend, June 24-26th, 2011 turned out to be. We had a union party, three graduation parties, two bar gigs, three weddings and a school’s end party. Nuts!
Anyhow, out of all of them, I took what could be one of my new favorite wedding pictures of all times at Crystal Cove in Averill Park. The couple booked me to DJ and do pictures, so DJ Maria came to back me up during the shoots. (We make an awesome team!)
Many brides wish for a wedding outside in bright a bright ray of sunshine for their backdrop. Though many say that they don’t want it to rain on their wedding day, some people and cultures believe it is good luck.
Many people don’t know that as a wedding DJ, I also do photography.
From a photography point of view, rain at your wedding isn’t be ideal, but sunshine isn’t either. I actually very much like a bit of overcast clouding with a hint of rain approaching. Here are a few shots I have taken to help illustrate what I mean.
The first one is with the dock is from a wedding at Crystal Cove, just this past weekend.
This other shot is one of my personal favorites from my portfolio, a twelve our wedding celebration in Fonda from 2009. It was a blast, but this photo wasn’t taken later at night. It was between the ceremony and the reception. It actually rained a little during dinner, but nobody cared. It stopped soon after.
The cute kid below, Logan, was the bride’s son from the Crystal Cove wedding. He caught me trying to get a candid of him taking candy from a bowl. His response turned out to be better than the original shot I had hoped for….
I am a wedding DJ and so is my wife. Here is the story about our very different wedding, and how we were able to have our ceremony outside, even after we were told it wouldn’t happen. This story is a testament to faith, never losing hope, good karma, and keeping around plenty of plastic coins…
“Too Bad There Are No Pirates On Venus”
I once read a classic award-winning piece by sci-fi writer Ray Bradbury called “All Summer in a Day.” The setting of this story is a futuristic space colony on the planet Venus, where the rain never stops. By the end, the reader is heartbroken for a young girl trapped in a closet, who missed the only day of sunshine the planet had seen in seven years.
Fast forward to the year 2011. The setting is the night of our wedding rehearsal at Birch Hill Catering Hall in Schodack, New York, on the planet Earth, where it had been raining without break for many weeks. The bridal party was there, helping us decorate, abuzz at the forecast predicting 75 degrees and sunny for our wedding day, tomorrow. However, despite the perfect timing, the event planner explained we would still be trapped inside for our ceremony.
Actually, she wasn’t really our planner. She was number two. The first event planner we were originally assigned to by the hall had taken another job last minute. It was her replacement, “Number Two,” who had to tell the teary-eyed bride that she had to have her outside dream ceremony, inside, during the first day of sunshine in months.
We walked around the grounds to look at all the potential sites for the ceremony, and Number Two was right. The grass was a mess. Mud and puddles are no friends of high heels and chair legs. Normally, we would have had access to a number of beautiful backdrops provided by nature at this location, but because of the wetness, the ground was not an option. But there was concrete…
At Birch Hill, there are two event rooms fit for wedding reception; one smaller room in the front with a large concrete patio outside and our huge room with a narrow patio outside. We couldn’t effectively use our room’s deck for an outdoor ceremony, because it was too narrow and right near the highway.
Just when we thought all hope was lost, Number Two offered us a moment of hope.
The planner took us back outside and showed us the front room’s patio. She suggested that we should just use that, because the party booked during our timeslot in the front room was not using it. “We can just put up a curtain by the window and everything should be fine,” she said.
Why the hell didn’t you just show us this before, I thought. The patio place was perfect and perhaps better than any of the other sites on their grounds!
We could picture it easily. It was still set up from a wedding that braved misty elements, a few days before. The area was surrounded in greenery, had a classy arch way for the vow exchange in the front, and nice white chairs all in rows. The trellis was even still decorated with fresh red roses.
We were ecstatic, that is, until, of course, Number Two came back and changed her mind. “Whoops, sorry about offering that. I didn’t have the power to do that.”
The power? But you are Number Two, I thought.
“The owner says that he doesn’t want us to use that patio because the ceremony still might distract the first communion party,” she explained.
That was understandable, seeing how we would be dressed, but offering something then retracting only made the bride more upset. Plus, they said they had drop curtains they could put up outside to hide us.
I shifted gears to defense mode. Who the hell is the owner?! I immediately wanted to power-bomb the invisible Wizard of Birch Hill, who was hiding somewhere behind his curtain.
I went back into the room to see some of bridal party was there helping us decorate for our theme wedding. Then I noticed the Birch Hill staff setting up rows of ugly tan chairs that made it look like a funeral wake was being prepared in the corner.
Maria looked depressed and sat on one of the seats, as if waiting to pay her respects to the deceased. Seeing Maria upset on the eve of her wedding was not cool in my book when there was an empty space that would work just well.
My friends knew I was ticked, and tried to talk me out of finding the owner.
I went and found the owner, anyhow.
I argued with him. “We didn’t pay $500 to have our on-site ceremony inside in what looks like a wake, when it’s going to be nice out and there is a place we can use.”
“My hands are tied,” he said. “I’m sorry, but I can’t let you use that site. It belongs to another party that time, whether they choose to use it or not.”
“But your planner said they can just put up divider curtains and that they have done it before.”
The owner didn’t budge.
We were trapped again in a closet on Venus.
The next day, I rode over with my groomsmen to the hall to do some last minute pirate decorating. Did somebody say pirates?
As I might have failed to mention before, we were having a big budget, realistic pirate theme wedding. We called it, “Ken & Maria’s Pirate Wedding Extravaganza.” The concept came out of the fact that, both being wedding DJs, we wanted our wedding to look different so we could remember it.
We had twenty pirate flags, a canon, a parrot, a boat, treasure chests everywhere loaded with massive crystal jewels, coins and beads, and even real swords. We did not use any cheesy cartoony decorations that you would see at a kid’s birthday party.
Everything looked so great that I figured it would be best to try not to worry about the ceremony which would only be 15-20 minutes of the day. I can’t lie though. I still wondered if there was a way for us to secure the patio that the hall initially offered to us for the ceremony.
We jumped back into decorating. None of the flags were up yet and the centerpieces were not completely finished. A delegated a few odd jobs and we got to work. My best man, or should I say, my First Mate, Marty “The Party,” helped me put the last minute touches on the head table’s treasure chest centerpiece when the flowers arrived.
“So, Marty. You are a successful lawyer,” I said.
“And?”
“What do you think about talking to someone in the other room about borrowing their patio?”
“You are still on that?” Marty laughed. “I’ll ask if you like.”
“Would you?”
“Sure. What do we have to lose?”
The two of us grabbed up our mechanical talking parrot and brought him out to the hallway.
As we set up our entrance way, we saw some little eyes in the front of the hall. In lieu of tuxedos, we had rented professional Broadway play pirate costumes with all the trimmings, so odd looks were appropriate. A few of the kids from the front room that had the cool deck had ventured out of their room for a peek. One of the kids whispered something to a friend, before they disappeared back to their party.
“I’ll go ask in a few minutes,” Marty laughed. “Let me finish this up.” Then he disappeared, too. He was in search of some more gemstones to place around our seating cards.
A minute later, the void was filled. Sweet Pete Waters, another one of my groomsmen, came out into the hall. I told him that the kids were amused at us and that maybe we could win them over. Before he could say anything, a few more of the first communion kids came running out the door. They looked even more excited to check out the “legendary pirates of Birch Hill hallway.”
“Look a different one now!”
Game on.
Sweet Pete Waters and Captain Casanova put on a funny pirate decorating show, in front of our room, throwing gold coins around and hamming it up. One brave first communion boy moved towards us for a better look, so I extended out a symbolic peace offering, in hopes that they may let us dock on their land. (Maybe I should have called it a “piece” offering; a piece of eight that is.
“Arghhhh, don’t be afraid boy. Here’s a gold coin for you, my scurvy dog friend.”
The kid grabbed it and ran.
Pete laughed and whispered. “So, are you going to bribe them with plastic money, now?”
I hadn’t thought of it that way, but, “why not?” As Marty had said, I had “nothing to lose.” In a karma frame of mind, if we were nice to the kids and maybe something nice will happen to us, in return, right? And in a barter mindset, we had a pirate gimmick that their party might really enjoy, and they had an extra patio our party might want to pirate. It was a win-win, either way.
After handing the young boy a fake gold coin from our seemingly endless decoration supply, I saw our outside ceremony materialize in my mind’s eye. I started thinking about how to ask for it. I knew I had to craft the request to use their patio in such a way that they would help us fight for us to use it.
Having planted a golden seed, I hung in the hall a minute to see the kids’ reactions instead of going back with Pete to decorate the big room, and diddled around with the seating cards. (The seating cards were just fine, mind you. My lack of supervision was an investment in achieving the outdoor ceremony that Maria had dreamed about since she was young.)
I pictured how beautiful my bride would be in her traditional wedding dress, outside among the trees and open air. You see, to keep up with the feel of a wedding, she was not going to be in pirate attire. She chose to still dress the part of a bride. She still wanted to walk the aisle and look like a beautiful princess. That way it still felt like a wedding and not just a big party with a bunch of pirates running around. Little did she know, while she was getting her hair and make up done with her bridesmaids, the outside dream was no longer out of the realm of possibility.
Then, a magical thing happened. The first communion girl’s father came running out with two of his children. “Hey mister pirate,” he said with a smile. “Can my daughter have a picture with you?”
I smiled and said, “Aye.” I took a few shots with kiddies and gave them a couple of fake diamonds.
“Thank you, Mister Pirate!” he said, rushing back to the party to show the others the picture he had just taken.
I rushed back into my room myself, and bustled up my motley crew. “Listen guys, I think we are going to get that ceremony after all. Follow my lead.”
Four of us, all in full pirate gear, marched back into the hallway. It was only moments before the same father came back out. “Hey Pirates, would you mind coming in and meeting the other kids for us?”
“Sure mate. It would be me pleasure,” I said in my best Jack Sparrow impersonation.
It was a riot. We all marched into the first communion party singing “Fifteen Men on a Deadman’s chest, just as we had practiced it a few hours ago for a camera in our limo on the way to the wedding hall.
The guests ate it up and cheered!
Then, we posed with all of the kids like characters at Walt Disney World. We even had the first communion girl pose holding a sword in one of the shots.
We handed out a few more little goodies from out centerpiece treasure chests and everyone had a good laugh. Before leaving, we led them all together to sing along in chorus with us, “Yo, ho, ho, and a bottle of rum.”
We really did put on a great show.
“Congratulations on your first communion,” I said. “But we have to go get to decorating the ship for our own party, now.”
“Thanks soooo much guys!” the father said, as we began to leave. “What party are you here for? Is there like a vendor party in the back?”
Finally, my window of opportunity opened. I knew that I had to be careful how I responded, so my secret agenda didn’t come off like begging.
“No, no, matey. We are having a pirate theme wedding in the back. About to get married real soon to a real nice wench, I am.”
The father laughed hysterically. “Well congratulations to you, then! Perfect day for it too!”
Bingo, I thought.
“Aye. That it is, lad, that it is.” I paused. “Too bad we can’t have it outside though,” I said dropping the character a little for sympathy.
“Well, why not?”
I pointed out the window, conveniently where their room’s patio was. “The ground out there is too wet and there is no site available for us to have the ceremony where the chairs won’t sink in.”
The father paused for a second and I watched the invisible light bulb turn on above his head. “Hey, why don’t you use that space right out there?”
Dramatic pause.
“We would love to, but the hall won’t let us,” I replied.
“Why not?”
“That was the original plan, but the owner said it might distract you,” I said. “We understand.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. As much as we want it outside, we don’t want a bunch of pirates to take the spotlight away from your daughter at the same time.”
“No, it wouldn’t! They love you guys!” He said.
“Well, if you don’t mind…”
“I insist!” At that the man followed us out into the hall. “What can I do to help?”
“Maybe tell the planners upstairs?” I suggested.
“Done.” The man disappeared. I ran into the backroom and helped one of my crew hang up one of the last Jolly Roger flags.
Five minutes later, one of the waitresses ran in with a big smile. “Congratulations, you got your outside wedding!”
A few of the staff came in and quickly removed the chairs from the makeshift funeral parlor. They actually did a great job, rushing to make it happen, as we had less than a half hour before show time.
In the corner of our reception hall, I snatched up my DJ friend Jason, who just started setting up his DJ gear for the ceremony music.
I ran out the door with Jason, his brother and their friend all in pirate gear, as well. We rushed down the hall and around the front to get them situated with their ceremony DJ set up and to do some touch ups on the patio we had just pirated for our ceremony. (Jason’s brother actually did a great job getting the trellis into nice condition. Once they were set, I ran around the front to head back into the hall.)
I stopped and posed for a few more pictures with the first communion partiers and thanked the father one more time. “You don’t know it, but that is one of the best wedding presents anyone could have given us.”
The father smiled, “no problem.” I shook his hand, feeling triumphant and a little guilty. He turned out to be a real good guy. “We are happy we could help.”
At this point, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, the special emcee for our pirate reception came up the walkway, laughing at the scene of all the pirates. Not having a whole lot of time to really greet him, I posed for a picture with him and ran back to the front room to retrieve his costume and pirate flag from our other www.TheDJserivce.com family member, DJ/JD. (Having four wedding DJs in the house made things a heck of a lot cheaper for entertainment.)
“Now, you are one of us, too!” I said, returning and handing the gear over to the WWE Hall Of Fame wrestler.
“Oh, I love this hat,” Hacksaw said, putting it on and moving up off of the curb. In the distance and over his massive shoulder, I could see Maria’s limousine pulling up, so I moved out of sight.
Less than fifteen minutes later, we were all smiles. Our outside ceremony layout was a success.
Our friend Todd, was dressed in full pirate regalia, as well. He had been ordained online and wrote us the best pirate ceremony that anyone could ask for. He was about to perform a ceremony that no one would ever forget, in complete character.
The music hit. My groomsmen came down the aisle to a gothic battle song called, “Carmina O Fortuna” and just before it ended, I came up last with a great, “Arggg!!!” The crowd responded with the same war cry.
Soon after that, the music switched over to the traditional bridesmaid music, “Air of The G,” and was soon followed by The Mendelssohn Wedding March from Midsummer Night’s Dream, or what some call, “Here Comes The Bride.”
Maria looked beautiful in her gown, which was modern, but had a tinge of Victorian flavor to it. The thing that was even more beautiful was that she was all smiles. Her outdoor ceremony came together with only about 20 minutes, just before the guests had arrived.
I have since learned that Maria had no idea that her ceremony was to be outside until about ten minutes before they actually led her to walk down the aisle. She said she had to keep from crying.
We are very thankful that we were able to have the ceremony outside and were not trapped inside on such a beautiful day. After weeks and weeks of planning in the rain, everything came off perfectly and everything came off without a hitch.
As for that little girl locked in a closet in a space colony on the only day of sunshine in seven years, my heart goes out to her. All I can say is, “Too bad there are no pirates on Venus.”