Some brides remember drawing themselves with veils in crayon in preschool. Others remember practicing a new surname on the back of a a high school notebook. It seems that just about every bride-to-be has dreamed about getting married practically since they were little girls. They all seem to want the same quality; perfection. However, the reality is …dreams do not always unfold into reality.

Perfection. Can it really happen? Yes, but only with the right mindset. The only real way to be happy with your reception is if all the people around you are happy. The big question to ask, therefore, should not be “What do I want?” but rather, “What do I want for my guests?”

By asking this question every time you plan an aspect of your party, you are planning from the guests’ perspective. Planning using the “Big Question” instead of something more selfish and meaningful to only you, will spawn a number of sub-questions that go along with it like, “what do I want my guests to say when they sit down?” and also, “what do I want my guests to say when they walk out the door?”

People say location is everything, but I would argue there is another component to the equation. Demographics. Thinking about who is going to be there before you actually plan, will make your reception “the best wedding of all time.” Different people like different things and you have to have a happy medium of what they will like and what you will like too.

Be a good host and your party will be good. It is just that simple. Realizing that you are trying to accommodate all of your guests’ wishes from a great wedding reception is only the first step. Next, you have to do your research. Your homework is to find what really makes you happy, and also makes every guest attending happy as well.

Think how many weddings happen across America. Because wedding receptions happen everyday everywhere , it is safe to say thousands of reception options have been created and your answers are out there. You just have to find them. Using this planning philosophy can work in every area including food, entertainment, music and even the overall look & layout of the decor.

Be unselfish and be kind. Let’s apply this unselfish planning thinking from the guests’ perspective to one particular aspect of the reception: The Cake. While you may absolutely love the idea of a classy cream cheese carrot cake, Uncle Charlie may absolutely HATE IT. That doesn’t mean you have to be unselfish and not have carrot cake, it only means you have to think outside of the box.

If you really want to be happy, make those around you happy and your happiness will follow. Ask yourself questions from their point of view. What would my guests like to see in a cake? How can I make everyone happy? In this case, why not try WEDDING CUPCAKES. Have you heard of this? You tier up a wedding cake display with many different types of cup cakes, in displayed in the shape of a traditional wedding cake. Everyone, including you and Uncle Charlie is now happy.

I tell my clients that if you really want to have your guests look back at attending “the best wedding ever,” keep them in mind as much as yourselves. Happiness breeds happiness. Playing your favorite songs is important and fine, but remember to always involve some of your guests’ favorite songs as well-even when they might not involve the same types of musical tastes. Find the happy medium, it is out there.