Who would have known that one day I would have to DJ a wedding and play “Rock You Like a Hurricane” and really mean it?
This past weekend, I was the DJ for a fun wedding in Poestenkill, up on the mountain. Everything was beautiful. The people came dressed nicely and were enjoying some drinks and pictures with some friends they haven’t seen in years. Yes, all was well, until, as luck would have it, a bastard-of-a-storm would start up hard, five minutes before the bride was to walk the aisle.
That first cold smack of rain was the first of a series of bands that would comrprise Hurricane/Tropical Storm Irene.
The Original Ceremony Site
The wedding ceremony was to take place just outside a huge white wedding reception tent, underneath a pretty apple tree. There was an elegant white arch decorated in flowers and everything looked picturesque, that is until the sky turned dark as the bride was stepping out of her limosine.
So at preceisely 6:30, we figured we would try and wait it out. Fifteen minutes or so, we decided our efforts were to no avail. The rain only started coming down harder. As the rain really started to dump on us, I could see that the guests were upset and that something needed to be done so I acted as wedding planner and ran back to the log cabin where the bride and her mother were gathering umberellas.
“How about we just switch it to under the tent on the the reception intro entrance way?” I asked. We quickly shifted gears. A few guests helped me move a few tables and it was on. As the town justice took his place with the groomsmen, it was evident that there was no way the people were going to hear him over the hurricane raindrops pounding on the vinyl roof above. Easy fix; give the justice a microphone.
Everything came off perfectly, except for one thing just before the bride could say, “I do.” As the bride’s aunt read a prayer into the mic, water began to flood all around the electrical panel set up, right behind my DJ Booth set-up. It seemed that the tent was a little off-level and all of the tent’s rain water was irrigating and collecting finding its exit-spout right behind me. That is when the water started to short out the power surges for the bar and myself.
We lost microphone power for all of 20-30 seconds, but people just smiled. I quickly re-routed the cord to the power line that lit the tent lights and all came off without a hitch.
Just as Murphy’s law would have it, five minutes after the ceremony, the rain stopped for about an hour, but it didn’t matter. In the end, people had a great time!
A great speech can happen with a little preparation.
As a DJ in the Albany, NY area, I have seen some great best man speeches and some ones that really tank. As a high school English teacher, as well, it is immediately obvious for me to identify which person has done their homework before setting down their glass.
Writing a great best man or maid of honor toast requires creativity, patience, hard work, and innovation. However, do not be afraid. The bride or groom thought enough of you to ask you to be their best man. Therefore, have faith in yourself and your ability to say the right thing. You can do it, especially if you follow the one most important and often-overlooked part of the writing process.
PRE-WRITE!
Before you actually start writing, jot down some ideas that answer the BIG QUESTIONS that people might want to know. Write down questions you think people would ask you about the bride and groom, if they could. Here is a collection of questions that best comes to mind.
1. How do you know the bride and groom?
2. Why did they choose you as best man?
3. What are the first five adjectives that describe the bride or groom?
4. How has the groom changed since meeting the bride?
5. How did the couple meet? How did the groom tell you about her?
6. What is some good marriage advice you’ve received or witnessed?
7. What is a good story that illustrates the personality of the bride and/or groom is?
Once you have the above questions figured out, the hard part is done. The next step is putting the answers into some kind of order that makes sense. Aristotle once said that when writing you need, “a beginning, a middle, and an end.” …Therefore, here are a few ideas to bring all your pre-writing thoughts together with organization in mind:
WRITE
1. The Beginning – Start with some kind of introduction. Get your audience’s attention and let them know who you are. Because everyone loves humor, it is often great to start with something that will make everyone laugh. This is also a great way to build up the courage to speak well in public.
2. The Middle – This is where the questions that you worked on before will really help. As the best man, you may know the groom better, so it is easy to talk about just the groom. However, a great toast will be evenly balanced, speaking about both of them. Avoid ex-girlfriend stories. Keep it appropriate for the parents and older folks in the room!
3. The End – It is best to wrap up your toast with some kind of wish of happy future for your bride and groom. Then finally, raise your glass in tradition to close with, “congratulations”, “cheers”, or “salud”, and don’t forget to drink from your own glass!
DELIVERY
The very last thing you want to do before actually creating your final draft is to think about DELIVERY. Having good public speaking skills comes with time and practice, however, a few simple tips will get the inexperienced by without any problems.
1. Keep your toast relatively quick. Probably more than half of the people there do not really know you. Nobody really came to hear your speech so, if you go on forever, you may actually annoy some people if you have too much to say.
2. Eye contact. Do it.
3. Create distrations. Don’t do it. That means saying “Umm” or “Ahhh” … fiddleing with papers … swaying back and forth. Things like these make people look at you instead of listen to what you have to say.
4. Try not to read everything word from word from your notes. Only write down phrases that need to be read word for word. It is actually best to write up a detailed outline of what you are going to say so that you do not simply read to your audience. You tell it from your heart.
5. Try and involve different emotions in your speech.
6. Once you are done and do not forget to raise your glass and get everyone to do the same. If you forget to drink from your own glass, people often are not sure if you are done.
Keep In Mind These 10 Songs and Make a Better Wedding
Here are my Top 10 Ways to Avoid Wedding Disasters, in music form. “Huh? How does that work?” Well, just think of these ten songs while planning your special day and you will have a safe and fun time for everyone. Each tip from this “playlist” (written by DJ Kenny Casanova) has a song that represents a potential “disaster-in-the-making” when you do not plan against it. HerAnd now for your Wedding Disaster playlist:
10. “Just The Two of Us” – Will Smith Make sure your wedding is a reflection of both of you; the bride and groom. Sometimes we forget to put in the personal likes and dislikes that make the event special. In the end, everyone should have some of the traditional wedding to make them happy, but also a mixed in balance of things that are important to the newlyweds.
9. Be careful not to waste… “Money” – The O’Jays
“Do we really need that extra decoration in the bathroom?”… “Do we really need a violinist in the hallway?”… The Wedding Industry is a big money maker. It is often easy to get caught up in all the options and wish for the very best of everything. This can get very costly, if you don’t pay attention to the little costs.
8. Plan out the ceremony and… “Have The Time of Your Life” – Greenday
The Ceremony is the most important thing. After all, the reception is actually the celebration of having had the ceremony. Spend a little time putting things together to make it memorable.
7. “I need Somebody to, HELP, not just anybody.” – The Beatles
Know who is running the show. This means if you hire a boring officiant for the ceremony, your ceremony will be boring. Also, if you hire a bad band, people will not enjoy themselves, or on the inverse, hire a lame DJ and get tons of hokey stuff like chicken dances and The Macarena.
6. “Singing in The Rain” – Gene Kelly Make sure to have a back up plan for everything that could go wrong. People often think, it could never happen to me, but they are the same ones who end up with ketchup all over the bride’s wedding dress. If you don’t keep this in mind, all your people could be stuck out in a rainstorm.
5. “More Money, More Problems” – Biggie Smalls
Stay to your budget. If you let them, the wedding professionals, caterers, and even your guests can end up costing you a fortune. Figure out what you want to spend and stick to it!
4. “I’m Here For The Party” – Gretchen Wilson It is not a good practice to get plastered the night before. Do you really want to be hung over on perhaps the biggest day of your life? If a bachelor / bachelorette party is set up for the night before, be careful you don’t spoil things for the day after.
3. Be a good host and think of… “Everybody” – Backstreet Boys
While it is your “day,” the reception will only be fun for everyone if you include everyone. That means perhaps playing some music you may not particularly like, or allowing something to happen for the good of the whole that you may not be particularly fond of.
2. “It Takes Two to Make a Thing Go Right” – Rob Base & DJ EZ Rock
Quite often, the bride takes over. Ladies, if you want the groom to enjoy himself, let him have a little fun in the planning as well. And if you have a groom that shows little interest in the planning element, give him total control of something. SOmetimes a theme wedding is a great way to get the groom in on the fun.
1. “Lose My Mind” – DMX
Don’t get stressed out and sweat the little things. If something doesn’t go exactly as planned, take a deep breath and move on. No one will care. We are all human!
Save a Little Everywhere and End Up Saving A bunch!
There are many ways to save for your wedding in Albany, NY, or other corners of the Earth. You can have a beautiful and yet affordable wedding, if you keep a few simple things in mind, during your planning process. That’s right, in order to save, you have to plan.
Here is a top 10 list of ways to save money on your wedding:
1. Your Wedding Invitations – Online is totally acceptable now, so you can save a bundle on postage right there. If you do not want to go the e-invite route, at least shop your invitations online. Competition is fierce and you are bound to find a deal if you look enough.
2. Cut Down The Guest List – Don’t invite anyone you haven’t seen or even talked to in five years. Don’t encourage singles to bring a date. Avoid inviting work colleagues. And let your friends bring their children. Watch
3. Play on eBay – Anything you buy, always check eBay and Amazon first!
4. Affordable Wedding Dresses – Online and believe it or not, thrift stores, can be a great resource to save literally hundreds of dollars on the wedding dress. Having your mother’s dress altered is often far cheaper than buying a new one, as well.
5. Be frugal with Decorations – There are countless ways to save on decorations. Sometimes, candlelight can be the most romantic and beautiful alternative to fancy centerpieces and decorations. You do not need expensive flower arrangements everywhere.
6. Save on your Flowers – Check with the hall to see who else is having a wedding there that weekend. You may be able to save on flowers by sharing. Also, some vocational schools have Floral Classes. Sometimes you can work with your local votec to turn your wedding decoration into a classroom assignment and only pay cost of the flowers.
7. Throw a “Wedding Prep” Party – Get all of your bridal party and friends together. Turn on the tunes and have them put together favors, flower arrangements and anything else that you have to pay more for when it comes completely assembled.
8. Think Food and Drink – Always provide your own caterer when you can. If your hall does not allow this, ask where money can be saved. See if they’ll let you provide your own liquor, or if serving only wine and beer will be cheaper than a full bar. Also consider only having open bar open during your cocktail hour, then serving an inexpensive wine with dinner.
9. Consider Your Day of the Week – Prime time is Fridays & Saturdays (sometimes Sundays) April thru October. Booking outside your hall’s primetime definitions will really help you save.
10. Ask for Help – Who do you know? Why spend a bundle on the officiant, musicians, photographers and even DJs, if one of your guests can make this happen for nothing.
If you follow these guidelines, you will certainly have some money left over. That means a better home together and/or honeymoon you could have.
Some brides remember drawing themselves with veils in crayon in preschool. Others remember practicing a new surname on the back of a a high school notebook. It seems that just about every bride-to-be has dreamed about getting married practically since they were little girls. They all seem to want the same quality; perfection. However, the reality is …dreams do not always unfold into reality.
Perfection. Can it really happen? Yes, but only with the right mindset. The only real way to be happy with your reception is if all the people around you are happy. The big question to ask, therefore, should not be “What do I want?” but rather, “What do I want for my guests?”
By asking this question every time you plan an aspect of your party, you are planning from the guests’ perspective. Planning using the “Big Question” instead of something more selfish and meaningful to only you, will spawn a number of sub-questions that go along with it like, “what do I want my guests to say when they sit down?” and also, “what do I want my guests to say when they walk out the door?”
People say location is everything, but I would argue there is another component to the equation. Demographics. Thinking about who is going to be there before you actually plan, will make your reception “the best wedding of all time.” Different people like different things and you have to have a happy medium of what they will like and what you will like too.
Be a good host and your party will be good. It is just that simple. Realizing that you are trying to accommodate all of your guests’ wishes from a great wedding reception is only the first step. Next, you have to do your research. Your homework is to find what really makes you happy, and also makes every guest attending happy as well.
Think how many weddings happen across America. Because wedding receptions happen everyday everywhere , it is safe to say thousands of reception options have been created and your answers are out there. You just have to find them. Using this planning philosophy can work in every area including food, entertainment, music and even the overall look & layout of the decor.
Be unselfish and be kind. Let’s apply this unselfish planning thinking from the guests’ perspective to one particular aspect of the reception: The Cake. While you may absolutely love the idea of a classy cream cheese carrot cake, Uncle Charlie may absolutely HATE IT. That doesn’t mean you have to be unselfish and not have carrot cake, it only means you have to think outside of the box.
If you really want to be happy, make those around you happy and your happiness will follow. Ask yourself questions from their point of view. What would my guests like to see in a cake? How can I make everyone happy? In this case, why not try WEDDING CUPCAKES. Have you heard of this? You tier up a wedding cake display with many different types of cup cakes, in displayed in the shape of a traditional wedding cake. Everyone, including you and Uncle Charlie is now happy.
I tell my clients that if you really want to have your guests look back at attending “the best wedding ever,” keep them in mind as much as yourselves. Happiness breeds happiness. Playing your favorite songs is important and fine, but remember to always involve some of your guests’ favorite songs as well-even when they might not involve the same types of musical tastes. Find the happy medium, it is out there.
Here is an idea… How about a wedding fit for a King? An Elvis-themed wedding can be as elegant and fancy, or as fun and crazy as you would like it to be.
Elvis had many faces over his life. He was a lady killer, rockstar, country man, Las Vegas staple, and clean cut man of class, depending on when you saw him over his career. Also, Elvis’ Blue Hawaiin period can allow for a more laid back pacific feel.
So what can you do?
First and foremost, pick out the Elvis look you want most and dress your bridesmaids and groomsmen accordingly. If you still want some traditional tuxedoed look for your wedding ceremony and really only want the Elvis theme for the reception, the perfect way to incorporate the theme subtley is by dressing only the goormsmen of the wedding party’s feat in Blue Suede Shoes. Then choose a matching shade of blue for the bridesmaids gowns!
But if you really want to go all out, how about ushers who are all dressed as Elvis impersonators for the big day? And how about a ballad for the wedding march and walk the aisle to Elvis singing “Can’t Help Falling In Love With You”.
Once you hit the reception, anything goes.
Peanutbutter and banana sandwich horsduerves are a must for a conversation piece. Also, add some 50’s sunglasses on every table and some hawaiin leighs.
